it's hard to stay afloat. some days i wake up and i have this natural smile on my face and i'm truly happy and excited for the day to come and then outside forces come to try to knock you down. i'm having a hard time trying to keep my head up. nevertheless i need constant inspiration and positive influences around me.

...

or sometimes just a good chocolate shake ...

i went to the liquor store in the middle of the night, and yes, i succumbed to the devilish act of smoking -- sometimes your only friend is your enemy -- and i bought this chocolate shake that comes in a sealed container. you open the lid and slide it into this weird contraption that pushes it into a blender and mixes it up the way you like it -- light, regular, or thick i think it was -- basically a whole big fiasco for a small drink. suffice it to say that it was all worth it in the end because it was fucking bomb. never mind that what read behind the lid was "you are now 99% happier" -- and wouldn't you know it, the damn thing was tellin' the truth! chuck the smokes, that chocolate shake saved my sanity for the night.